Anarchy for Beginners ... A Primer for the Inevitable

Now Arriving on Track 69: Paris Hilton

"Yeah! I swear! She's up there right now," the girl said.

Ellis was the auburn haired model who was throwing the party, celebrating her first Vogue cover. She was from Idaho or someplace and totally hot, but kind of crazy the way all the new girls are.

"She's been up there all night," Jaan nodded, and he was a serious hottie himself, being a professional surfer from South Africa. I was kinda digging on him, actually.

"What's that?" Ana Barros asked, plopping her brow Brazilian ass down on the loveseat next to me. Her arms went around my waist and then her head and body as well, circling me like a caramel serpent until she was lying down with her tummy against my back.

"Paris Hilton is passed out upstairs," I said, reaching for the girl's thigh and pulling Ana's left knee into my lap so I could play with her.

"Oh yeah!" she giggled. "I slipped her a couple sleeping pills after lunch."

"You did?" Ellis laughed. "I put a couple in her margarita."

"How many?" I wondered.

"I gave her like four," Fernanda said, coming in from the pool now that Ana was with us. "She wanted some coke, so I just opened a bunch of capsules."

"What?" Jaan laughed at her.

"I'm not going to waste coke on her!" Fernanda made a face.

"Three…I think," Ellis answered my question and then shrugged. "I didn't invite her anyway."

"You think she's still alive?" I asked no one in particular.

"What?" Ana looked up at me and we all looked at each other.

"She better not pull a Marilyn at my house!" Ellis frowned.

"Nah," Jaan shook his head. "Somebody woulda noticed probably."

"What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Just somebody woulda noticed if she wasn't breathing, right?" He grinned at me. "Everybody's been fucking her all day."

"Oh!" I gasped and then laughed at the guy, but he was totally serious too. Paris was getting a seriously long train pulled on her ass because this wasn't a small party. There had to be fifty guys there, easy, maybe a hundred with everybody coming and going like they did.

We were sitting in the pool house, just to get away from all the craziness. By the pool and inside the house, it was all crazy. The music was going, there was a full bar and two bartenders working, someone had brought a limo full of strippers and they were dancing and doing who knows what behind the bushes. There'd been at least one good fight that I'd seen, a couple celebrity DJ's going at it, if you can believe that. A lot of kicking and hair pulling until they got pulled apart and tossed in the pool.

Ana was begging for a fuck, kissing my leg, licking my thigh while her hand massaged my cock through the bikini I was wearing. Fernanda had sat down with Jaan on big bean bag chair and she had her hand under his t-shirt, playing with his nipples just to tease me. If I had Ana, she was going to get my favorite toy.

Ellis looked older, but she was just 15 and she didn't know what she wanted. I knew she wasn't a virgin, but she'd already confessed that she'd never been with another girl. She was curious, but I wasn't going to fuck with her. At least not until I got a lot more drunk than I was. When she moved over to sit on the floor next to me and Ana it was time to move.

"I'm gonna go check on Paris," I decided. My cock was hard as a rock and watching Fernanda sucking Jaan's tongue wasn't making me real happy. I'd brought him, but 'Nana was gonna make him cum and we both knew it. The bitch gave me a little wave without taking her mouth of his.

"What? Don't go!" Ellis whined softly, reaching for my hand as I stood up.

"Stay here," Ana said in her Portuguese accent. "We lock the door, nobody fucking see what we're doing to her."

She was talking about Ellis, of course, and Ana was hot for her. They didn't need me and I just smiled and slipped away.

"Shit!" I laughed when I saw Paris sprawled naked on the bed. She was snoring, so that was good. At least she wasn't dead.

There were a couple dozen unopened condoms on the nightstand and about eight used ones plastered to the woman's stomach and tits. Another dirty rubber was hanging out of her mouth, open end down, of course. Her freshly shaved cunt was raw and pink, with fat, greasy labia splayed lewdly to prove that she'd been fucked numerous times. Not everyone had bothered with protection either. A goopy trail of semen was leaking out of her pussy and a large puddle of fuck juice stained the sheets beneath her ass.

Someone had cum on her face too, a couple someone's maybe, as I climbed on top of her. Hilton's eyes were pasted shut with half-dried sperm and her hair was stiff with it. I fucked my cock inside her easily, hardly feeling a thing and that girl was seriously stretched out! It was going to be awhile before I'd be able to get off. All I was doing was churning up the cum inside her, squishing it out with sploshy fart sounds and that was no good. I hated fucking with a condom on my dick anyway.

She rolled over easy enough and I put the woman on her side, adjusting her legs and smiling to myself as I saw her asshole still looked tight. Apparently nobody had bothered with that hole yet nd I peeled off the condom and leaned into the bitch, grunting with the effort of splitting Hilton's tight little asshole with my cock. She was nice and snug too. Not terribly tight and it was obvious Paris wasn't a stranger to anal sex, but I thought I was the first one in on this particular day, so that was cool.

I fucked into the girl hard, as hard and fast as I could while I held her shoulder and pulled the slut against me. She felt it. Paris was moaning sleepily, not waking up or anything, but probably just dreaming about getting ass fucked by her daddy or something. Sick cunt. I did love fucking her in the butt though. She was hot in there and nice and dry, the friction was awesome as her rectum would clench itself around my cock and suck on it like a baby's mouth. I swear, her ass felt better than a lot of pussy I'd fucked. But maybe that was just because it was hers.

I rode her for a good five minutes before I couldn't hold myself back any longer. I slammed my girlish cock as deep as I could get it, feeling my balls jerk upward with that familiar sensation of spewing a hot load of fresh cum into someone special. I was grinding that bitch, rolling my ass and hips, gyrating lewdly while I played with my tits. I was going to make it last as long as I could. I wanted to fill her bowels with my seed and I was pinching and pulling my thick nipples in an effort to keep those spasms coming.

But of course it was all over much too soon and I finally pulled my softening cock free of Hilton's asshole with a soft, wet plop. I wiped my penis off on her face and then used her hair to finish the job. I made sure her legs stayed the way I wanted, the right leg straight beneath her and the left pulled up high and bent at the knee. The next guy who came along would see the dirty sperm oozing from her asshole and he'd know what to do.

I hoped he had a monster cock.

My big writing tip...seriously

This is from a reply to a different post in a different forum, but it sums it up good enough for here...


Heyyyy :)

You know, when I first started posting to online sites, my first hundred stories were all short. 2000 words for me was a long story back then. I wrote hundreds of them. Some real stories, some just scenes really. But they were complete, they gave me tons of valubale experience with just building a story, or part of a story, posting to public opinion, and withstanding comments good and bad. Gradually I started getting longer and more ambitious and my first few years really served me well and continue to influence my approach and mind set to writing.

I think some readers, not necessarily yourself or anyone here, but some reader get the big eyes and have been sitting on an idea or two for a long time before trying to write it as a story. They end up starting something very large and very involved without the experience or the tools to really tackle the job. I think a lot of the incomplete stories we see are by relatively new authors who just gave up in frustration, or from time issues that they didn't anticipate. Others were perhaps frustrated by scores or feedback (or lack thereof) ...and that's too bad.

When people have asked me for advice (as if I know anything) I always say start small. No multi-chapter stories, just 2-5K words, crank it out and post it and do another one. Do a bunch of those. Not good for everyone perhaps, but that is my advice because it worked well for me. It was like taking little babysteps into the kiddie pool before I went for the diving board.

My suggestion to you, is to complete your stories by changing the code on SOL or asking Lazeez to do it. Mark them as complete where they sit, and start something new. The yellow stripes go away, you get some emails from people saying "Why did you do that?" but the monkey is off your back with just a little pain and you're free to try something else. Plot and outline your stories in advance, identify where things are happening and especially the end. Write towards a specific goal with a clear path in front of you. It's methodical and I don't like it personally, but it is useful to demonstrate a process that you can later intuit.

Does that make sense? I'm never sure when I try to talk about this stuff. The important thing is to move forward. Unfinished business that will always remain unfinished, needs to be dropped. You can always go back to a completed story and add to it. I've done it with a dozen of mine and I have a bunch waiting for a continuation that I marked complete because I didn't know when I'd be able to get back to them. They're my strategic reserve :)

Best always,

Someone doesn't like my blog nyah nyah nyah

That's pretty funny. Someone emailed me the other day, yesterday in fact, before I turned off anonymous feedback, and said my blogs suck. He ignores them completely as irrelevant and a waste of time. Maybe he's the same guy who emailed Bradley Stoke, I dunno. I'd like to see that email, maybe it's not too late to change my evil ways. I get a lot of hate mail so it's hard to keep track.

My big question is if I'm so completely boring to someone, why does he feel the overwhelming compulsion to tell me about it? I'm presuming that the other 50,000 people who didn't email me have more sense than that. But that is a lot of presuming!!

Here's my opinion on my blog. Not your blog, because everyone has their own purpose and requirements and I don't know what they are. But I do know mine.

My blog is here first of all to give me a place to say whatever I feel like saying. Not to inform anyone. Not to validate myself or my decisions. Not to announce news or details about my life or writing. It's a big closet into which I can shout at the top of my lungs.

Once you understand that, it all becomes much clearer, doesn't it?

I have no overwhelming desire to explain myself or my stories. I do it largely out of habit, but even so that is so much work and how many people really care what the subtext was in Reasons Until After? I mean, if I have to explain it to a reader, well, that reader shouldn't be reading me, probably. I'm much happier with the people who "get" me right off the bat, as our most of us, I'm sure.

On the other hand, and I have three of them, I usually do try to make a valid point someplae in my ranting. Whether it's expressed clearly or not is another issue altogether. The only time I go into concise, ultra-wordsmith mode is when I get pissed. I sound like a professor when I get angry and I'd much rather sound like a spoiled 9 year old.

My blog is meant for entertainment purposes only. They're cartoons without the stupid thought bubbles and muffin feet. Caricatures of social discourse which should arouse anything but apathy or I haven't done my job. Of course part of that responsibility rests squarely on the shoulders of the reader as well and unfortunately some people are just born apathetic. Like some people are contrarians and others can only pose negative reasons to any given solution. It's in their blood and I have a hunch such people are only rarely happy, which is too bad. Happiness is severely underrated in my opinion.

Writing this makes me happy, regardless of feedback and minority opinion. It cheers me up. For that reason, and since no animals are hurt in the production of my blog, I think no one should really be complaining about it. Not even you! Complaining about an SOL blog entry is like complaining because someone in China is flying a kite. You can't even see it unless you make the effort personally...Wow! That's the worst analogy I've made all week! But you know what? It's making me giggle.

That's what my blog is for.

And for my next magic trick...

Hmmm...What's left to rant about?

I just popped off a note to the admin people to de-volunteer myself as a reviewer. I just don't have a lot of time for extra-curricular activities and I wasn't really good at it anyway. I kind of approached the subject as an exercise in creative writing more than a practical, factual commentary on a particular story. My opinions were my own and I stand by them, but so far as what would serve the authors and the site best...It probably isn't me, at least not in that capacity.

I did get a lot of email about my reviews though, a number of them, like 6 or 7 different readers, basically commented that my reviews were more often better than the stories. I'm not sure how true that is, I certainly reviewed a number of very well written stories. My reviews might have been funnier, but I doubt they were better in all or even some cases.

It was fun though. I enjoyed the writing a lot. I was supposed to read Ken Randall's "Charlotte's Movie"
and I sorta, kinda promised him an opinion, if not a full review of it. I'm still working on it. It is a nice piece of writing he deserves much credit and I sincerely urge all of you to take a look at codes and synopsis and then take a chance on it. I'm just a very slow reader and it is a lengthy story. But I'm getting there!

I guess I can rant about reviews, since I have read them, written them, and been subject to them...I have a pretty good perspective, I think.

What I dislike about reviews are that many of them are too short. I mean, they say "I like this story..." and take maybe two paragraphs to say that and the end. Look at the review for Charlotte's Movie, for example. I just don't see the purpose of those. Here I'll post the review in its entirety:

Review by y2 [other reviews by y2]
Reviewed: 2007-03-11

It starts off just like any other teen romance, except one of the teens is a slutty daughter of porn stars. And while the story is predominantly a sex story, it is nice to know that porn stars are people too :p

This is a story about love, life and everything in between. It is a story about consequences, and about tollerance. And there is great sex...


Now I know some people will opine that such a review is all that's necessary. That's all a reader or an author should expect. But I know for a fact that Ken wants more from a review than that. If it was my story I'd want something more. It's public feedback. It's a message from one reader to alllllll the other ones. If you could email every person on SOL about a story, is that all you'd want to say?

Maybe that's why I tended to go a little overboard with my own reviews, I'm not sure. Obviously I have that sort of attitude and ego. But it baffles me, it really does and that isn't the review or the only reviewer I can point at with my unhappy finger.

Fuzzy...Come on, dude! You give everybody tens all the time (except me heh!) or it seems that way. That's the perception people have about a Fuzzy Wuzzy review. Paula Abdul :)

There's a limited number of slots for reviewers and I'm not saying it should be a full time job, or carries any specific obligation to select stories a reviewer won't like, but I'd like to see the selection mixed up a little more. A negative review isn't necessarily a bad thing. It doesn't have to be brutal and an honest opinion of a less than average story can be beneficial to the author. I've beaten up some people in my reviews, but generally they came right back at me asking me to look at a new story and see if I thought it was better, or asking for some more information on what I liked and disliked. Give authors some credit because sometimes it looks like the reviews avoid anything that can be construed as negative.

Not true, I know! They're getting ready to mug me, because some of them do in fact review stories that they didn't necessarily enjoy and they do tell us about it. But in between those few lower than average scores, the reviw board is generally a flood of 9's and 10's ...But people like to say nice things. It's much easier to read, finish, and want to review a story we find enjoyable. That's human nature, so I understand it. I'm not asking for a flood of really mean reviews, far from it. I'm just making an observation without really having a good answer.

The scores...I dunno. an 8 is the new 5 it seems to me. I mean everyone gets eights and so that's the middle of the bell curve. basically the scale for stoies, reflected in reviews, is 7-10...a four point scale with anything less than a six being punishment. Maybe it's a love hate thing. "I love your story, I give you a 10, I hate your story I give you a six, because I don't want to hurt your feelings."

Of course I get 1's all the time, so I'm biased about scores.

I'm just rambling on. I'd like to see a small paranthetical number next to the title on the New Stories and Updates pages specifying how many stories that particular pen name has on the site. Just to make it super-readily apparent who is a new author posting his/her first story and who has posted 65 stories. Of course I'm saying pen names, so an uthor could have a hundred stories and have story number 1 under a new name. That's okay.

I suggest this mostly because when I look for stories to read I much prefer first time authors over the established ones and it's a pain going to everyone's homepage over and over to see how prolific the individual is. I also think new authors should be reviewed much more often than they are. It's kinda hit in miss because reviewers go off synopsis and codes and probably by author name if they have a favorite. A new author cannot be a favorite, obviously, so they don't get that little advantage. It's just something i'd like to see because new authors are the future, stupid as that sounds. I won't be writing forever, a lot of our favorite authors are gone, or busy, or retired, or in jail, whatever. Time marches on and we're all replaced by our children, so I always think new authors should be kind of spoiled like children.

My opinion anyway.

So that's about all I got to say and see ya later!

I turned off anonymous...

I know I said I'd never do that, but I lied. At least I can admit that. Not so much for content, although I must admit I've gotten a couple heartbreakers lately, but mostly because I want to put a name with an opinion, start my database of morons, and when I'm in charge I'll know precisely how many bullets I need to buy.

Just kidding. I wouldn't really shoot anybody. I'd just make them answer my anonymous email for awhile.

Except...I haven't got any any more!!!!

But I did get one good one, which almost changed my mind and it says (the "cite" function is broken)


Anonymous to me show details 7:35 pm (16 hours ago)

Reply Re: Now that I've cleared that up...
Posted : 2009-01-19 - 10:15 pm

The biggest problem with your argument is the
assumption that anyone can craft a well-written

A secondary issue is that graphic descriptions of
sexual activity will by their very nature engender
stronger physical and emotional responses from
readers. This means a negative reaction to erotica
content will be greater than almost any negative
reaction any other genre will generate. This is
why codes need to exist... because until and
unless writers can (or are willing to) create
synopses that will allow readers to make a
determination whether or not they will enjoy a
story, correctly coding a story goes farther to do
this than anything else.


Which demonstrates precisely what I mean when I say we have to change our entire mindset and get creative and adventurous and take a chance. Of course 99% of all the authors on the net suck. They shouldn't merely be using codes, they should be using training wheels on their keyboards, but that will never ever change. Porn deserves story codes, I won't argue that. What I'm looking for is legitimate erotica of a quality consistent with getting on the New Yorkl Times best seller list...Sans codes.

Now that's a pipe dream and I'm not arguing that either. But if nobody ever tries,then it'll never happen for sure! We won't even get close to that level of acceptance, and realisatically, "Close" is all I'm shooting for. Not personally, but as a community, as a social element. Close would be good. But we'll never get there saying "Until writers learn to write a decent synopsis...We'll use codes to do it for them" (to paraphrase)

That's a catch-22 isn't it?

Don't learn to write a decent synopsis because we have codes...Don't do away with codes because nobody ever had to write a real synopsis before.

Keep the codes! I like the codes 9 times out of 10...But I'd like to have the option of saying "I didn't code this work at all" and NOT be flamed for my decision. See? That's the key, turning the culture around so that it isn't uncommon to try an uncoded story and accepting the responsibility that comes with reading, instead of sticking the author with the onus 24/7

That's kinda my point, I think. I probably need to think about all of this more before I open my big mouth. But like Whitey used to say: A faint heart never fucked a pig!

Anyway, I admit my thoughts are not organized. I have only a general and vague idea of what I want to say, so I'll understand if I'm confusing anyone. My apologies for that.


Now that I've cleared that up...

(Excuse the typos, this is off the top of my head)

This place really needs a sense of humor, I swear. With few exceptions, and you know who you are, the SOL crowd is largely a mirthless bunch. Easily confused, very nit-picky, firmly entrenched in the outdated traditions of our pornographic forefathers, and lazy to boot.

I take that back. It's not just SOL, it's anywhere online that more than a dozen people gather for mutual masturbation in the Socratic circle jerk otherwise known as erotica. SOL is actually better than some places where authors take themselves so seriously they have to give blood if they want to print a chapter for grandma. But at least those forums are fun because it's always good sport to light a man's principles on fire and watch him run around in circles. If the village is crowded enough...well, look what happened to Chicago!

That wasn't no cow, Laz...that was porn!

So me, being me and utterly bored with reading daily blog notes that say "I changed two to's to too's today; see my update..." I rather enjoy being a little non-sensical, overly dramatic, and even irrelevent in my posts. A few people get a few of my jokes, some catch the puns, some can even tell when I'm trying to be serious without looking like I'm being serious, and vice versa. I'm grateful for that much at least.

Of late I've been accused of being a racist, which is kind of funny but who knows, I suppose it could be true. I'm a minority female and I generally think all white guys are cute and all black guys have huge dicks and all those people who live in yurts smell like goats. I wouldn't deny anyone the inalienable right to play video games based on any of my stereotypical observations, but I might have a problem with sharing my toothbrush.

Anyway, back to racism and accusations thereof, which is a serious deal in this day and it should be. Racism is a bad thing as a general rule, but the allegations have been made that using the interracial code and elements thereof indicates a racist story. People who enjoy reading and writing those sorts of stories are all racists and exploiting minorities. This was a very real discussion, a serious one, and I couldn't let remarks like that go by. Not in good conscience anyway, and after selling my soul for that wine cooler when I was fourteen, what else do I have left?

I won't go into all of it here, but suffice to say that it's precisely that sort of thing I hate about large sites catering to the broad spectrum of viral enthusiasms plaguing the internet. Like SOL, for example. Rather than bringing people together for the common good of all mankind, sharing our collective wisdom through the pain numbing discourse of elegant prose...We're stuck debating the callous implications of story codes and the significant threat their very existance poses to the future of humanity.

Okay, so maybe I'm exagerrating a little. Nah. Story codes are tools of nazi propaganda, used to delude the masses with a false sense of security and lull the vigilant among us to sleep and dream of a pornographic utopia free of independant thought, selfish motivation, and deliberate misrepresentation of intent, content, and manifest social value.

Or at least that's what I took away from the argument, along with a sketchy history lesson and a gift-wrapped box of chocolate covered guilt. You'll understand if I returned it unopened.

Someday, if I can be serious and try to formulate a thought brooding in the back of my admittedly small brain, I'd like to see online erotica elevated to something more than a collection of scribblings with less literary respect than Archie and Jughead. Even in the real world of published literature, the "Classics" of erotica familiar to the average adult can be tabulated on the tines of your salad fork.

So what chance does online erotica stand of rising to something at least worthy of acknowledgement if not acceptance? Pretty good, I think. Not now or in the immediate future, but someday. Online publishing is still very much in its infancy, still struggling to compete with the convenience and profitable infrastructure of paper publishing. Sooner or later though technology will allow the equivalent of well-wron paperbacks, profits will go up because trons cost less than trees, even the recycled ones from your bathroom, and once the scales tip, as they eventually must, there will be a headlong rush to define, implement, and refine the publishing business in its new and modern incarnation.

When that happens, with any amount of luck, there will be greater opportunities for those few gifted authors toiling at producing erotica for SOL and Literotica and other places to gain some foothold with mainstream markets and push the envelope of that defines popular entertainment. The niche markets that already exist, like America's Best Erotica series, will find themselves well positioned to explot the vast library of online material that exists...Not to ressurect old stories, but rather to tap into new authors who have the filthy rich history of the internet to learn from.

And I guess that's my point here. I've never really tried to sort this out before, so forgive me. We should be learning, or at least some of us. Authors, the serious ones, should be using the net to perfect their craft and obviously many of them do and in the meantime work hard to find publication with other work, other stories. Readers, the serious ones, the intelligent who read not just for titillation but for the experience a well-told story may impart, should be working just as hard to encoourage not only their favorites, but new authors as well. They should be willing to experiment, just as authors do, with themes and subject matter, and providing feedback which adds value to the future.

I think we should look at getting away from those aspects of storytelling which are unique to online erotica and find ways to conform with the mainstream. Story codes is a good example. They're unique to online erotica and when I look at wrting as a whole, stories published on and offline in their entirety, story codes are almost demeaning. It's like saying, "Don't read my story because it's good; read it because it has a lot of incestuous sex in it." I understand the necessity and even desire for that and I don't blame anyone for wanting story codes, but I'd like to see them optional. I'd like to see the day when an author can stand on a well-written synopsis and little else without drawing a lot of anger and criticism. I'd like to see the end of the perceived obligation to code every aspect and scene. Until that happens, and some other things, I think erotica will always be a suspicious shadow lurking in the dirty alleyways of public consciousness. Not because they see story codes and laugh, but because those of us who read and write are handicapping ourselves.

It's an ego thing...We're better than this and we should be thinking that way.

or...maybe I'm full of shit. I guess time will tell.

Still sleeping anon?

Same old management...

This quotation from a recent email I sent will have to suffice as fair notice of contest results:

Thanks for dropping me a line. Unfortunately it seems I was the only one who entered the sweepatakes and so I'm still stuck with the job of being me. I guess it wasn't that great of a prize after all. But I certainly appreciate the thought and your email, it always means a lot and maybe, just like Papa Hemingway, I just need a hug! :)

I'll probably use this email to explain that in my blog, actually.

Best always!

PS - I have changed my password to something rather less predictable.

The rache sweepstakes


As previously promised in a recent author's note posted with some story somewhere (see ASSM: Cinderella 2 Ch.2 - ed) rache is being given away in her entirety. This includes the pen names Kylie X. TS Severe, Jack Valentine and others, as well as the reviewer account Jais Nereis on SOL. Other goodies included are the associated emails, web sites, author accounts for various pay sites, a zillion forums and well, rache on the internet. I'd give you rache off the internet as well, but I still need her body for awhile.

The only fair way to do that is the way it's always been done at McDonalds, which is - first come, first served. To that end here is the login and password for rache at both SOL and the related Gmail account:


The first caller who logs in and changes the passwords, obviously gets to keep them. A couple emails are already waiting with links and login details for everything else as mentioned previously, like Yahoo, ASSTR, Google, Author Accounts, and forum access, etc. Follow the instructions carefully and you'll be fine. I tried to childproof everything. Just remember...There's no way to contact me for help. I'm gonna be on vacation. Forever. You're on your own, sunshine. If you're not sure you can or want to open that door in event of an emergency, ask for an aisle seat. That's very important.

And I really, really hope you know how to write because you have to finish Cinderella and Girl Fag. If you're not up to that, then you should enter a different contest. Broken Window is optional, I'll leave that one to the winner to play with. Of course, if you don't finish those, I'll never know, but you'll have to live with the guilt.

The lines will be open about 30 seconds after I post this.

Good luck.

What the hell am I doing????

I got a lot of people asking me that. People wondering where the next chapter of (insert favorite story here) or the next bestiality tale, or the next great lesbian romance, or the next angst driven incestious teen tragedy, etc etc...

Thanks for thinking of me and I appreciate the interest.

Right now I'm writing Cinderella Book 2 which is largely about a pair of German's, a half brother and sister who were born on opposite sides of the Berlin Wall shortly before it came down. Without giving too much away, it's kind of an action/adventure/romance thing and part of a much larger story involving a suermodel looking for revenge on her girlfriend's killers.

It has a transgender code, but like most of my "transgender" stories I basically have a female main chgaracter with a birth defect between her legs. I should probably just write these as straight genetic female tales, but the first chapter of Book 1 was so much fun and so cool, I had to leave it.

I got really slapped down with Book 1 when it appeared. Some people gave me a lot of 1's just out of meanness and it bothered me. Not because I was being scored low, but straight 1's are not scoring, it's slappage. I don't like being slapped.

So I decided I'd write a really great story and make the unknown individuals pay for it by missing out on something worth reading. Unfortunatelly the TG code scares people and they have visions of weird men in drag having sweaty sex with hairy longshoremen.

I generally avoid those myself. So anyway, that's what I'm doing and trying my very best to write something entertaining and worth reading regardless of the explicit sexual content. I've been researching the hell out of Glock pistols...That's the kinda story it is in Book 2.

I'm rambling. Killing time before our flight. Once I finish Cinderella, which will have to run at least 3 books now, I'll be writing again as rache, probably. I want to finish Girl Fag next, we'll see.

Bon voyage!

The trick with anonymous email... not to ask a question that I would be more than happy to answer. Unless you're planning on reading the reply, in which case a little note like "I'll look for your answer in your blog" would be a big clue. I need clues, as most people are well aware.

I bring this up because I got this anonymous email:

Reply Re: I disagree with whatever Black Knight said...
Posted : 2009-01-16 - 10:50 pm

Where were these comments posted originally? I'd
like to read the full thread if possible.

And it just seemed weird when I slapped my forehead and realized I couldn't reply. Anyway, the original thread may be found by accessing SOL Discussion Group established by Lazeez a few months back on Google. I'm not looking at it right now, but the thread was a recent one about codes and I'm sure you guys can find it.

The group is okay, by the way. A lot of boring stuff there, which interests me not at all, but it is kind of fun to pop in and pick a side and argue something just to see who really believes in what they say and who's just cruising for chicks.

I let myself get picked up once in awhile, most recently I've been getting some decent anal sex on the subject of interracial story codes. Lord knows I can use a good ass fucking too, since it's that time of the month anyway and I hate washing sheets by hand.

Okay? I did something productive today!

I disagree with whatever Black Knight said...

Originally posted elsewhere, but it's a handy rant...


I disagree. I think codes are a courtesy that have become twisted into some strange obligation by their pervasive use. A well written synopsis should provide enough information for someone to decide if he/she is interested in a story. The codes come into play not for people intersted in a story, which may reasonably be expected to contain elements unappealing to an individual, but for people who want to jerk off. Codes are essential to porn readers because they don't want to waste time looking for their favorite fetish and porn should be coded, just as adult bookstores lump all their cellophane by subject matter. Mom's coming home from bingo in half an hour, gotta get that fix quick!

But stories, real fiction regardless of erotic content, do not require codes, in my opinion, and the idea of coding every single element (as some people have suggested and demanded) is not only excessive and stupid, it's detrimental to the erotica genre as a whole. I've been accused of deliberately mis-coding stories and I'll happily admit it's true. I have no problems with using story codes to further my evil plans, since I am required by convention to use them for the time being. To the complainers, I can only say "It's my story, they're my codes. I own them...You don't like it, write your own story. There's a lot of words out there." Readers own nothing and the frightened reliance upon their good opinion is just a little annoying. Yes I crave it, Yes I love it, Yes I appreciate it to the very soles of my toes, but I'm not going to babysit anyone, nor will I compromise my own requirements on the alter of popularity. Codes, by their nature, induce us to do just that.

We can't "weight" the codes. You can't put a code in context. You can't justify a code. They just sit there, all of them equal, all of them in a pretty row and equal in proportion and weight.They're static and in that sense they can be misleading by their very existence. Codes are not stone fixtured guardians of all that is good and perfect in the world of online erotica, they're merely tools which have been elevated to Godhood like Golden Shovels that must be revered at all costs because to do otherwise would reduce our efforts to chaos.

I'm not against codes, they're great for porn and useful for erotica. I'm just saying they are not the happy horsepill that some people are trying to shove up our collective butts.

uh...I guess that's a good place to stop ranting.

The interracial thing? Kind of a waste of time. Use the synopsis, that's what it's there for. "Little Kyoko likes big black cocks, but her husband Paddy O'Toole is feeling left out...Until he meets, Tajahamatsaddaha, the new babysitter from Bombay!" If people can't figure the story out from that...Oh wait. Sorry. How will the search engine ever find it? Trapped again.


On the question of download numbers...

This was posted someplace else, but it'll work here...


The quality of the downloads is what's important, which sounds like a total copout coming from someone who gets less downloads than any other author in this forum, but I have to believe that.

Posting at a place like SOL, for some of us, is a lot like selling our soul to Santa Clause. What I mean is, there are a number of forums where I post bestiality stories and in proportion to the number of users, my download numbers are significant. Like 95% of all active members in most cases and feedback is also much more pronounced. Much more positive and supportive.

Same thing with other specialized forums, like TG and Snuff...But of course we expect that from those places because we are catering to a specific fetish and targeting a specific group of readers who are actively looking for those kinds of stories.

SOL, on the other hand, is just a large community of authors and readers coming together under the umbrella of "Online Erotica" whatever that is. Well, it's everything, and so the disadvantage is that writing a bestiality story will be ignored by the majority of users. A TG story even more so. The target audience is a minority and proportionally smaller than the whole. Makes sense, right? Everyone knows this.

In that way, from that singular point of view, it's not the best situation to post anything out of the mainstream to a site like SOL. The return is minimal when compared to what other, more popular authors enjoy and while we understand and try to ignore that fact, human's by nature are competative. Our social development is based on comparative teaching and so too our self-image is based on subjective opinion of others. Being compared unfavorably for any reason is not a path to happiness.

So why do it? That's the selling part, in that I'm trading my comfort for the opportunity to reach a wider, more diverse readership. For a brief time I played with middle of the road porn, mainstream themes, and I spent a year writing trash like "Dick" and "Babysitter's First Time" and basically a lot of stories that were very popular, but I rate just below the back of my Fruit Loops box. A lot of people think that was my peak, and perhaps so.

I had to do it though as I came to understand that I couldn't walk in throwing out snuff, bestiality, and hardcore lesbian stories and gain immediate acceptance. I had to build an audience first. 2006-2007 was my throw-away year for that purpose. Now that I have a fanbase on SOL and some minor name recognition outside those forums where I'm worshipped as a goddess, I can move away from writing mainstream tripe and work on other things that are important to me. For the time being my interest is in transgender. I don't know why and doubtless it will wear off eventually, after I've exhausted my explorations, and then I'll do something else.

I'm never completely happy at SOL and I never will be. I resent a lot of what I see there, a lot of what I experience at the hands of voters and anonymous emailers. But the quality of my audience, I think, makes up for its lack of membership. The new readers who come in expecting to find my stories shocking and repulsive, and then email me with valuable comments and criticism, even praise for seducing them into trying something different...That's why I'm there and why I'm writing unpopular fiction. It's why I sold my soul to Santa and I keep asking him for an AK-47 in my stocking, but...


My secret pedophiliac love affair with you...

...The reader.

I’m lumping you all together, which may be good or bad and probably a bit of both. Readers are like spoiled children, authors are probably worse, but I’m talking about you right now. Spoiled little 13 year old boys who have only just learned how to play with their pee-pees and they refuse to stop. They jerk off at the dinner table. They jerk off at school, church, and while waiting to get a lollipop from the dentist.

If they’re happy, they jerk off with a smile. When they’re sad, they jerk off with big alligator tears dripping onto their pink little balls. If they’re angry, they jerk off anonymously onto your pillow and go to sleep jerking off while they imagine the look on your face when you find it.

That’s a whole lot of jerking off, let me tell you. I know, because I’m one of the babysitters. While mom and dad are out there declaring war on Iraq, and setting the prime lending rate, and trying to figure out how to get all that flavor in one little stick of chewing gum, they leave their spoiled little brats in my loving care. Or in the care of someone like me and I have a bone to pick with them too.

I was looking through blogs, largely researching my upcoming paper on sexism in online porn, and I was continuously struck by the number of entries saying something like this:

“Please vote for me. Please. Please, oh please vote!”

Perhaps not in so many words and occasionally in precisely that many words. That is an example of a bad babysitter. She’s going to end up held down, tied-up, and gang-raped by a bunch of thirteen year old boys. Not a bad thing really, considering the babysitter in question is the same age, obviously, and so no laws are broken. Nobody is hurt or traumatized for life. She’s asking for it and they’re giving it to her. My only real issue with the whole affair is that it makes the rest of us look bad when we don’t put out for the kiddies in our care.

Much like the author’s who say:

“If I don’t get more email, I won’t finish my story!”

Now there’s a girl who has spent way too much time in Daddy’s lap. She expects that twenty dollar’s after every hug now, even the ones that don’t involve getting a finger up her hairless snatch so Daddy can make sure his little big girl is all grown-up on the inside too. That’s the problem with playing mommy in the basement: You start to believe her shoes will fit. But mommy is a busy woman and she doesn’t just sit at home collecting sperm from the mailman all day, she’s working 9-5 and getting the kids to school, and making sure the laundry gets done, and the bills are paid, and the dishes are clean. She’s working hard and after the story is finished, Daddy spoils her with dinner, drinks, and dancing to remind her how beautiful she looks doing it.

Or he should.

Awfully hard to spoil a girl if she’s demanding everything though. I myself ask for nothing, or at least I try. Everyone slips up every now and again, but even so, I very rarely ask and in that way even the little things are a surprise. That’s part of my evil plan, by the way, one of the keys to being a happy and successful underachiever: Never beg! It’s not only demeaning personally, but it makes all the rest of us look bad.

And that’s my real issue here - Looking bad by association.

“I’m sorry I wrote the story that way. Do you want me to change it? I can do it. I just want to please my fans. Please, just let me know.”

I saw something like that a number of times as I was back-reading the blogs. And not always by the whiny 13 year old girls with weight problems, acne, and ugly shoes. Some of them were doubtlessly (I hope) facetious, but some definitely weren’t. It’s those that I’m talking about, and I do not include authors looking for input on the next chapter, which is wholly reasonable. I’m talking about people who have finished a story and moved on, but just can’t live with not being loved.

I can understand it coming from them, self-image is a big deal when you’re that age and we all went through that one summer when we were ugly (even though we really weren’t) and for a small number of otherwise beautiful young women, they never recovered. They’re stuck forever in that stupid dress, with that silly hair and ugly braces. No boy will ever love them. No fully grown man with his very own car will ever want to shove his cock inside her eager womb. She can never be tall enough. Her tits will never be big enough. She’ll always weigh one pound too much.

She’s disgusting.

But only because she begs and whores her ass around the net like a wanton slut trading pussy for love. All I can say is “Find Jesus, sister!” He’s working at a little taco place just off Sunset. He’s dark and greasy, he sneers when he smiles, and rubs his crotch everytime a girl walks by. Find the man, order a big enchilada with extra sauce to go, and chow down out back by the dumpster. Don’t worry about your skin, or hair, or even the scale in your bathroom. Get yourself laid and walk away from the experience sore, dumb, and happy. Knocked up too. Bring some Jesus home for the folks.

Here’s a clue…Thirteen year old boys will fuck anything patient enough to let them get over their fear. You don’t have to bribe them. All you have to do is wait, make soft little sighing sounds, and play with your belly button. One will break away from the herd and after he’s done, and survived the ordeal, they’ll be all over you like Boys to Men on Mariah Carey, and then…What? A thousand words already? I’m out of time.