2008-10-30
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Uziel wants to say something before she leaves…
"…and she was blue, huh?" Ricky grinned at me.
"With tits that taste like rootbeer!" Danny giggled and I frowned at them.
"Shut-up," I said.
"You're so full of it, Matt." Ricky slugged me in the arm.
"Fuck you!" I punched him in the thigh.
"Knock it off back there!" Mrs. Hailey, our English teacher, turned around from the whiteboard she was writing on. "Mr. Ford, is there a problem?"
She was staring at me and I shook my head.
"Good…Now, the difference between a simile and a metaphor is…"
Blah blah blah …I shoulda known better than to tell my friends about that blue chick I'd met Tuesday night. They hadn't believed any of it, of course, and now they wouldn't let it go. They were still virgins though, so what could you expect? I wasn't and even if nobody believed me, I knew the truth.
I'd gotten picked up when I was hitchhiking home by a blue chick with silver hair and golden eyes. A hot chick too, she was a babe. Her name was Six, which was weird, but I called her Sixy. She'd let me go all the way with her too, which was insanely cool. My girlfriend, Holly? She got uptight if I even tried to finger her pussy. But that blue girl? She sucked my dick!
Of course, I'd had to talk her into it, you know. I had to give her some Matt Ford charm and talk a lot of suave shit. She wanted to like get married or something. Chicks are like that though, so it wasn't a big deal. She'd cried when I left, telling me she loved me and all that, but she'd given me her virginity, so that was understandable. Everybody knows a girl sorta freaks out when you pop her cherry, but still…It wasn't like I was gonna really marry her!
I was just sixteen and even though she was a total babe, I still had a lot of stuff I wanted to do before getting married. My parents woulda killed me too!
"Uh, gee, Mom…Dad…I met a blue chick and we're gonna get married."
Duh! That wasn't gonna go too far. I'd probably get my ass grounded for a week and it was bad enough I couldn't even get a car until I got a job. If I got married? Oh man! I'd really need a job then and there wasn't any way I was gonna flip burgers my whole life. I don't care how hot the girl is.
I suppose I coulda knocked her up though. I mean, I did cum inside her and everything, but that wasn't my fault. She was like squeezing my dick with her pussy, begging me for my manly ball juice, see? If Six got herself pregnant? It was her fault, not mine. Every girl knows that if they go to the lake with a boy, something's gonna happen. She shoulda been taking some birth control pills if she wanted to fuck. I mean, it's her body, her baby, right? That's what my dad always says.
Halfway through English class there was a rapping on the classroom door. One of the kids who brown nosed in the school office was handing a note to Mrs. Hailey. That happened sometimes, usually when somebody's grandma died or whatever. I took advantage of the situation to punch Ricky in the thigh again.
"Matt Ford!" Mrs. Hailey looked at me and I sat up straight real quickly, figuring I was busted, and Ricky was muttering under his breath.
"Huh?" I looked at her and then I wondered for a second if it was my grandma who was dead.
"You need to go to the principal's office," the old teacher said.
"What? Why me?" I frowned. "What did I do?"
"I don't know," she shrugged. "Just get your things…"
The kid who'd brought the note was a girl named Loni Hanson and she was only a ninth grader, but kinda hot anyway.
"Hey Loni," I smiled at her. "What's goin' on?"
"You're on the TV," she said with a grin.
"What?" I looked at her and we walked together towards the offices.
"What do you mean?"
"They're looking for you," she laughed, but wouldn't say anything else.
"Yeah, whatever," I rolled my eyes cause she thought it was funny, whatever it was.
"Go straight in, Matt," Mrs. Carlisle, the school secretary pointed towards the principal's office.
"Okay," I dropped my books on a chair.
"…to sources at the White House, the only message received so far has been a demand to, and I quote, ‘…surrender Matt Ford to the 312th Imperial Battle Fleet…' unquote."
"Who is Matt Ford?" the news guy in Atlanta wanted to know, and the reporter just shrugged.
"That's what everyone is asking, Bernie, and my sources say, whoever this Matt Ford is, we need to find him quickly."
The reported sounded serious and I just stood there watching the little television in the principal's office along with a dozen teachers, six students, and the janitor.
"We go now to the Pentagon, where Janice Copeland is standing by," the anchorman said. "Janice, what's happening where you are?"
"Well Bernie, it seems that the original report of a hundred spaceships was wrong…" the woman said a little breathlessly. "The Pentagon now says that there are over a thousand spacecraft in geo-stationary orbits around the globe."
"A thousand?" the black newsman narrowed his eyes.
"More than a thousand, that's right," she nodded. "They're broadcasting the same message in uh, French, German, Spanish…Chinese, Japanese…"
"And that's the message to surrender Matt Ford," Bernie nodded and he played with his left ear. "We're getting a transmission…Uh…Okay, we're…Apparently this is coming from one of the space ships…"
The television flickered and then filled with a rather benign looking man, older and dressed in a military uniform of some kind. He had a lot of medals anyway and he looked like a general, I guess. Except he was all blue, with silver hair and red, pupiless eyes.
"This is Admiral Seventy-Seven speaking to the peoples of Mars…Eh? What?" He leaned over and someone else, equally blue but younger, was whispering in the Admiral's ear.
"Right…" the admiral cleared his throat, "…I'm speaking to the peoples of Earth now, not as the commander of the 312th Imperial Battle Fleet, but as a man. As a father who loves his daughter…
"Oops!" I swallowed hard.
"Matt, there you are," the principal noticed me for the first time. "You have to go to Washington."
"I do?" I blinked at the man.
"They're sending a jet to get you," the principal grinned, like this was pretty funny. "I guess they're rounding up all the Matt Fords they can find."
"Uh…How many is that?" I wondered.
"I dunno, son," the Principal shrugged. "Whoever he is, you probably oughta be glad it isn't you."
"What?" I tried to figure that out.
"…So, I appeal to your better nature; surrender the man who took advantage of my daughter and spare your planet the needless pain and suffering of being blown to bits." The admiral smiled. "I'll give you twelve of your hours to deliver Matt Ford. Have a nice day."
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
It turns out there were about seventeen Matt Fords in the United States and a couple more in Canada, and we were all together at the White House, which was pretty cool. The oldest one was like a hundred or something, in a wheel chair and breathing air out of a scuba tank or something. The youngest one was three months old and his mom was holding him, and she looked terribly unhappy.
"Okay…I'm Dick and I'm the President's National Security Advisor," a man said, walking briskly into the room. "Which one of you guys raped the alien?"
We all just sorta looked at each other.
"Well, my son didn't do it," the mother said and the Dick guy waved at her.
"Come on, who did it?" he looked around.
"What, uh, what did she look like?" some guy asked. Well, his name was Matt, obviously, but you know what I mean. He was about 25 maybe and sorta scruffy looking.
"She was blue," Dick said, scrutinizing the man as everyone else moved away from him.
"Nah, wasn't me," Matt shook his head. "I picked up a Mexican chick the other night. Didn't rape her though and she wasn't nothing but pink, know what I mean?"
He grinned and Dick frowned.
"Come on…Which one of you guys…" Dick stared at all of us, talking slow and then his eyes fixed on me and I looked down quickly.
"I, uh…" I cleared my throat, "…We were out by the lake."
Everyone moved away from me.
"Was she blue?" Dick asked and I nodded. "Silver hair?" I nodded again. "Gold eyes too?"
"Yeah," I shrugged. "We just made out for awhile and…"
"Shit," Dick growled, like a dog on a bone and I looked up.
"I kinda told her, you know, I loved her," I said. "I didn't think her old man would come looking for me."
"Okay, you come with me," Dick said. "The rest of you…stay here."
I swallowed hard and followed Dick out of the room, down a hallway, and into another room. A round one and it looked sorta familiar, like from TV or movies or whatever.
"Matt Ford. We got him, Boss!" Dick said and the President of the United States let out a big sigh of relief.
I kinda didn't like the sound of that.
end of transmission.
Oct 31 2008 1027AM
